We all grew up with our parents telling little white-lie stories about fictional characters like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny in order to create a sense of awe and wonder around various holidays. After thousands of years remaining hidden from curious, eager little eyes, these larger-than-life protagonists have proven themselves to be masters of subterfuge.
For the most part, these fairytale do-gooders remain silent in their quest of bringing good tidings to the world’s youth. But sometimes, when a particular child has been naughty or negligent and remain defiant toward their parents, a small reminder from these ethereal beings is sometimes all it takes to get the child back on the right path.
That’s exactly what one father from London did. When Henry Warren was finally fed up with his son’s discriminate lack of caring for his dental hygiene, this dad called on some support from the mythical master of the molar – the tooth fairy.
In a tweet, Mr. Warren shares a very official looking letter, complete with letterhead, from the offices of Barry T. Tooth Fairy and writes “Our son is dreadful at brushing his teeth. Turns out the Tooth Fairy has had enough.
The letter reads:
Dear Mr Warren,
This letter is to inform you that I have now taken receipt of your tooth and it is being duly processed in our system.
You will have notices there has been a delay in your payment for the tooth. Mr Warren, I have to inform you that this is due to the condition in which we found said tooth. We expect a certain amount of wear and tear on the teeth we appraise. However in this case your tooth had to be referred up to the committee for further analysis.
We believe this is due to the lack of care and attention by yourself. We have detected more trace amounts of Fanta and residual amounts of both cereal and chocolate which have not been removed by appropriate brushing technique. We recommend you review your practice here as a matter of urgency.
Mr. Warren we will accept the tooth on this occasion but we need your assurances that the condition of your next tooth will be significantly better or we will withhold payment.
Barry T. Tooth Fairy
Damn! I don’t know about you, but I feel like I need to go brush my teeth now. As I worked my way through the letter, I couldn’t help but feel guilty, like I’d missed a payment on something important or got a written warning about work performance.
You might think these words are harsh, but think about the effect they may have on Henry’s son. Imagine a note from Santa saying you couldn’t have any presents because you were naughty, or a letter from cupid saying you’ll never find love because you’re too much of an asshole …
Ok, I hope young children aren’t getting those kinds of letters from Cupid, but the point remains – getting a gut wrenching letter like this is certain to make you stop and think.
I haven’t seen any updates on Henry’s twitter page about his son’s reaction to the letter or his current state of brushing frequency, but I really think he hit a home run on this one. Parenting is all about inspiring our children. Sometimes that means encouraging them to reach for the stars and discover their potential and sometimes that means using an imaginary bicuspid collector to reinforce the little things in life.
Well done Henry, thank you for sharing this amazing piece of parenting with the world.